she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize