Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
do herpes really smell.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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