I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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