I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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