a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
