You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
