someone get that fucking seahorse.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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