So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
