I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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