I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize