I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
