I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
