Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
