im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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