Come see our sink grown plant.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
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But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
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Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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