i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
