dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize