just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
