He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I can't turn off my feet"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
