You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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