i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
