i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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