I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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