just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
