i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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