Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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