we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
