Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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