what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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