I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
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We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
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They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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