Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
