I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize