i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Is Oprah even human
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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