Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
