It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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