Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I cannot find my penis.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize