member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You're like the curious george of whores
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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