Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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