So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Ketchup is God's man juice
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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