i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize