She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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