redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
