i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
