Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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