God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
