he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
