Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
