i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
