uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
You smell like stripper and shame
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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