Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
