so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
this just has baby written all over it
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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