i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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