we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
