Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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