standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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