I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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