Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
