You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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