My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
