my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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