I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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