I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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