Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I need to sanitize my soul.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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