Dual....:-)
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
