You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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