arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Houston, we have a blender
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
