Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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