At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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