Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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