So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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